MERCY!

I love you
but i gotta stay true
my morals got me on my knees
im begging please stop playing games
i dont know what this is
cos you got me good
just like you knew you would
i dont know what you do
but you do it well
I’m under your spell

Chorus
You got me begging you for mercy
why wont you relase me
you got me begging you for mercy
why wont you release me
I said release me

Now you think that i will be something on the side
but you got to understand
that i need a man
who can take my hand yes i do...................


'Mercy' is playing again and again in my head, as I received 4 messages from Z since last nite.

Early this week, I thought I am so over Z. I was back to my focus and confident self and so ready to move forward. Then, on Tuesday, I changed my handphone number and notified all my contacts. And, of course, I included him.

So, Z messaged me to ask if I have 'terminated my old phone'.
Cheeky me had to answer: 'I did not terminate my phone. It is still in good condition. I only switch phone line'....
He replied: Ok. I'll saved your new number. How are you?
I sms-ed: I'm busy, etc. How's married life?

Then, we exchanged a few sms-es , until I decided to end it and said, 'nite nite ex-darling!'
His last message however went something like 'I'll sms you tomorrow if you are ok with it'.
I decided not to answer.

Moving forward to today, after his 4 messages, which i only replied to once, I am feeling so insecured of my own weakness towards him, and the whole day I keep reminding myself that he is somebody's husband.

The fact that I am feeling depress due to my argument with my parents this morning, has also play a part in clouding my judgment and repressing my ability to think rationally and wisely. So, I am just stressed...

I am so in need of a distraction right now....

AnywayS, to re-cap my to do list: I lost 1 kg after 5 days of my 'no rice diet plan', so 3 more kgs to go before May 5, i.e. the day I start work at my new office.