3 days after : Stuck on Z

3 days after the big D, my social contact, i.e. Z, who is servicing me (as I am the PR manager of the co I work for) , and had been very supportive throughout my pre-divorce stage being a divorcee himself , called me about the interview spot for my CEO. He 'sells' TV ad space btw.

This is when I decided to announce my new single status to him, like I did that week to all my close social contacts, since I was just so happy and relief after a few months of court and family drama. Little that I know, this particular phone conversation with him is a start of a new relationship, so so soon after the official D!

In short, Z, who is 37 years old, pursued me like mad weeks after...he's charming, cute and cuddly, persistent, funny, fun, caring and he sms-ed me like 50 times a day for the first 2 weeks of our new relationship... One huge problem though...at that point of time, he is getting married to a 26 years old in 1 1/2 months time.

So, why on earth I let this relationship bloomed in the first place???... from friendship to god knows what???... I was flattered by his attention, after so very long being the distressed wife and mum. On top, his personality and behaviour are the exact opposite of my ex's...not to mention, he is freakin PERSISTENT!... So, I cant help but to have feelings for him...

I told myself I'll use him as my 'training ground', since I have not been single for 9 years ...but all the flirting turned into something serious, as he confessed his love for me, and weak old me responded...

Reality hit me two weeks before his wedding day, i.e. 29 March, that he will never leave his fiancee for me. I never did have the courage to ask him to leave her for me. I did not want to actually. Rationally, I know he is not the perfect guy for me. He was looking for something serious, while I just got out from an awful marriage, and want to take things slow... So, we broke up and and decleared ourselves as friends, both acted nonchalant, calling each other everyday, but limit ourselves to 'friends only topics' when we talk and meet...

Five days before 29 March, I went for a 'card reading' with my super cool boss, N... I've done this once before, and this lady was spot on about everything in my life. I wanted to know how Z was doing with us being just friends. Surprisingly, the lady told me that my friendship with him, should it continue, will contribute to the cause of the breakup of his current marriage, and very soon after that, Z and I will get hitched...however.... what goes around comes around, and another girl will attempt to steal him away from me after that, and our marriage itself will not last...

The possibility of this being far fetched has crossed my mind, but putting the karma concept into the picture, I believe it can become a reality, one way or the other. Hence, last Thursday, 4 days before his big day, I decided to break all ties with him... He didn't want to say goodbye, instead he said 'take care'. I did cried, but briefly. And because I deal with him in my line of duty, I will be meeting him soon enough...well, that would be another drama I have to face in the near future.

Moving forward to today, of course I am still thinking about him, since he has been an 'exciting' part of my new found single life... I am still feeling blue since Friday, not to the extent of crying, but just blue and gloomy...he's been my daily routine for 1 1/2 months now, and had been there to help me throughout my divorce, as a caring friend. So, I guess my sadness now is more towards losing his friendship and companion.

Last nite, mainly due to this whole experience and the fact that I watched 27 dresses last weekend, I had a dream I was getting married..I never got to see the groom's face, but I was happy and contented, in my white wedding gown... my friends were there, and Adibah Nor was singing in the background as my mysterious groom and I walked down the aisle... funny rite???

Ah well, my day will come in 2 years time, according to Madam S, the card reader...we'll see...